Tiny Humans, Big Feelings: Why Meltdowns Are (Weirdly) Healthy

Melanie Zwyghuizen | Gen 1 Parenting

Ever watched your toddler collapse into a puddle of tears because you peeled their banana wrong... and wondered if they might actually be losing their mind?

Good news: they're not. They're human. Tiny humans — with very big, very real feelings.

And believe it or not, those epic meltdowns? They’re not just inevitable — they’re healthy.

Here’s why:

1. Feelings Have to Go Somewhere

Little kids don't have the words, experience, or brain development to say,"Excuse me, Mother, I’m feeling dysregulated and mildly betrayed by the texture of my breakfast."(Imagine a world! But nope...They scream. They throw themselves on the floor. They weep as if the world has ended.)

It’s messy. It’s loud. But it’s actually their brain doing its job — trying to regulate intense emotions the only way it knows how right now.

2. Emotional Explosions Are a Sign of Safety

Crazy as it sounds, kids tend to melt down where they feel safest.That’s right — you are the chosen one.

When kids lose it around you, it's not because you're doing it wrong. It's because you are their soft place to land. Their safe harbor for all the hard stuff they don’t know how to carry yet.

3. Learning to Cope Takes Practice (and Time)

Imagine expecting a two-year-old to tie their shoes perfectly after seeing it once.(LOL. No.)

Emotional regulation is the same.Kids need tons of practice — and dozens (hundreds?) of imperfect tries — to figure out how to handle frustration, disappointment, or anger without going full Godzilla.

Your calm presence is part of how they learn.

4. You’re Not Failing — You’re Growing, Too

If you sometimes feel helpless during your kid’s emotional storms, welcome to the club.Parenting is just as much about growing ourselves as it is about raising them.

The goal isn’t to stop the meltdowns.The goal is to ride them out with love — helping our kids learn that big feelings are normal, manageable, and never too much for us to handle.

A Few Quick Reminders for the Next Big Meltdown:

• Take a deep breath (or three) & tell yourself something like "This isn't an emergency This will pass. I can handle this. I am the adult in the room."

• Get low and calm if you can (physical posture matters!).

• Offer simple empathy: "You’re so angry (sad, etc) right now. I’m here." (note: if your child escalates when you offer words, then don't! Simply keep them & everyone else safe & silently ride it out. Every kid is different & needs different things from us. You'll soon learn what helps and what doesn't!)

• Skip the lectures — this is not a teachable moment yet.

• Circle back later (when everyone is calm - you included!) for the learning moment...with connection and coaching/teaching so that your child can know what to do better next time. This is an important step that many parents miss.

Tiny humans have big feelings (& if you're a parent of a teen? You know they do as well!). But with your steady love and guidance (don't miss the "and"!), they'll grow into big humans who know it's okay to feel everything — and still be safe, strong, and connected.

And hey, that’s kind of beautiful, isn't it?

Hey Parents, if you'd like more help navigating big feelings & understanding the whys behind them, schedule a free 15-minute consulation with me today! Learn foundational understandings paired with practical tools that are sure to up your parenting game.

-Melanie