What I Wish I Had Known About Summer as a young Mom

Melanie Zwyghuizen | Gen 1 Parenting

When my kids were young, summer felt like both a gift and a test.

A chance to slow down—but also this pressure to “make memories,” to entertain, to somehow do it all differently than we had during the school year. To create those "magical moments" they'd remember of their childhood for years to come.

Now that my three are grown, I look back with a lot more clarity—and a lot more gentleness for the mom I was back then.

If I could sit across from my younger self, maybe even from you, here’s what I’d say:

1. You Don’t Have to Enjoy Every Moment

People love to say it—“Enjoy every moment. It goes by so fast.”

And I get it. I’ve definitely thought it, if not said it outloud now that I’m on the other side. But here’s the truth: when you’re in the thick of summer—making snacks for the third time before noon, wiping up melted popsicles (or if you're like me? spraying them down with the hose! ha), and trying to referee sibling fights—it doesn’t feel fast. It feels like forever.

You don’t have to enjoy every moment. You don’t even have to remember every moment.

But if you can pause and soak in a few of the sweet ones—the late-night giggles, the fireflies, the weird inside jokes, the s'mores and more s'mores— that’s enough. That’s plenty.

2. Boredom Isn’t a Parenting Failure

I used to dread those words: “I’m boooored.” Growing up in the 80's, my parents treated those words as if we had just dropped the "f-bomb"! But somehow, when my kids said it to me, it felt like I was failing them. Like it meant I wasn’t doing enough to make their summer fun. Like I had to drop everything and come up with a plan to cure the boredom.

But here’s what I wish I’d known sooner (or at least remembered more often!): boredom is a doorway to creativity. Some of my kids’ most imaginative, memory-making summer moments came when there wasn’t a plan at all.

Let them be bored sometimes.Let yourself be bored too.You don’t have to fill every minute.

3. You Don’t Need to Compete

I remember seeing other families’ summer photos and hearing about their amazing vacations—beach trips, matching outfits, picture-perfect picnics—and wondering if I was falling behind. (And this was long before the pressure mounted by scrolling through social media.)

Meanwhile, we were eating cereal for dinner and arguing about who left the wet towel on the couch.

But here’s what’s true: comparison will rob you of your own story. I don’t remember what other people were doing. But I do remember the way my kids leaned on me when they were tired. How they made up goofy pool games.The sound of their laughter from the backseat on road trips that didn’t go according to plan.

You’re not behind. You’re building a summer they’ll remember in ways no one else can see.

4. You Don’t Have to Be the “Fun One”

Some moms are great at themed crafts and creative outings—and if that’s you, lean in.

But if it’s not? That’s okay too.

Your kids don’t need an entertainer. They need you. Lean into your strengths. Mine happened to be play. I would say yes to a game of "toothpick" or inner tube tag in the pool because I enjoyed having that kind of fun. But a glue gun and glitter? Hard pass.

They just need your steadiness. Your willingness to listen. Your “sure, let’s try it” on a random Tuesday evening.

Some of the most meaningful summer memories don’t come from what we do, but from how we show up.

5. Summer Isn’t a Second Chance to Fix Everything

There were summers I entered with big intentions—Better routines. Better habits. Better parenting. Can you relate, as summer is just around the corner?

But now I see that what we needed most wasn’t a fix. We needed a breather. A season of connection. A slower pace. Space to remember we actually liked each other outside the rush of the school year.

Summer doesn’t have to be a reset or a productivity project. It can be a soft place to land—for all of you.

Hey Parents,

Remember, you don’t need to manufacture magic.

*You don’t need to keep up.

*You don’t need to be perfect.

*You just need to be present.

A perfectly imperfect summer is more than enough with your Perfectly Imperfect Family. In the beginning of summer, we have lots of energy for all the things, but many of us find ourselves worn out by the end of July from the seemingly endless battles that summer can bring -- especially those sibling fights. The good news? You can up your parenting game this summer with 1:1 or group coaching or perhaps by gathering a few friends for a mini-course. Explore the options so you can be more ready than ever for whatever summer challenges come your way. Schedule your [Free 15 min. Consult Today!].

-Melanie